Monday, August 18, 2008

At the Well - Blessing our Husbands

The ladies "At the Well" are at it again.
When you are done here, be sure to visit the
other ladies for more ideas for blessing your
husband and other important people in your life.
Here are the questions offered by Cindy Beall:

If you are married, how well do you sweet-talk your spouse? What are some things you can say TODAY to let your spouse know that you think the world of him?

I must admit, this is an area in which the Lord has done some major work in my life and marriage. When Les and I were married over 20+ years ago, I was a selfish, spoiled brat. No one -- I mean, no one -- would disagree with that. The Lord finally had to show me that the reason I couldn't speak sweetly to my husband was because I didn't have a sweet heart. It took much prayer and lots of practice to make a difference in how I spoke to my Dearly Beloved.

Unfortunately, I began our marriage not realizing that husbands are people, too. We tend to think sometimes that it doesn't matter what we say to or about our husbands. The prevailing attitude among women these days seems to be, they are men; they can take it. Or, they are men, they deserve it. (!?)

The bare truth is they are human. They have feelings, too. They may not spill their guts to us or cry like our girlfriends when they are hurt, but they aren't our girlfriends! They are our husbands. Many times, they get grumpy, very quiet, or just take off when they are hurt. All men are different. You must be in tune to how your man reacts when he's been offended by something you've said, and seek his forgiveness right away.

The Golden Rule applies here as well as anywhere. How would you feel if your husband spoke to you the way you speak to him? Insert your name in the conversation when you are gossiping to your friends about something your husband did that didn't please you. Would you want him spreading it around at work what a terrible wife you are?

Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. -- Colosians 4:6

Many times, it isn't what we say as much as how we say it. I love the idea of using sweet words with our husbands. Our daughter and I made some peach ice cream this past week with the best peaches we've had in years. However, the finished product left much to be desired. We just knew there was something important missing. Lydia discovered that there was no salt in the recipe. It makes no sense that salt would make something sweeter, but that is exactly what it does in cooking. Salt takes the edge off of bitter things and makes sweet things sweeter. That is the concept Paul is trying to get across in this verse. Even when something difficult must be discussed, a gracious spirit will go a long way in making our husbands more receptive to what we have to say.

The best way to head off your
next blow-up may be an
investment in sweet talk.

When he heads out the door in the morning, don't let him leave without a kiss and something sweet like

~ Have a great day!
~ I'm praying for you (then do it!)
~ I love you (only if you mean it!)

When you speak to him on the phone, remember to tell him you love him before saying good-bye.

When he returns home from work, make sure you stop whatever you are doing and greet him. The worst thing you can do is hand him a baby when he steps in the door. Remember, ladies, he has been working all day, too. Ask him how his day went. Show some real interest. Every once in awhile, remember to tell him how much you appreciate the work he does both on the job and around the house. Then, ask him if he'd like to hold the baby while you finish his dinner. ;)

Last, but not least, never let him go to bed without a kiss and a Good night, Sweetheart...I love you!

(Which reminds me! Les is already in bed and I haven't kissed him good-night! I guess the Lord still has some work to do on me. *Sigh*)