Monday, December 14, 2009

Rick and Kay Warren's Rocky Marriage

I just read an intriguing review regarding Jeffery L. Sheler's new biography of mega church pastor, Rick Warren.[1] It is no surprise Rick and Kay Warren encountered a rocky road in their marriage considering their "unconventional" beginning. Even though neither of them were in love, each believed they received a revelation from God that it was His will they marry one another. In fact, they tell of being virtual strangers and how they endured the agonies of having to seek marriage counseling early on and even today "still go to Christian marriage counseling once in a while to tune up their relationship."

Though I do not discount God's leading in their lives, it would have been a thousand times better (and saved them at least a thousand dollars in counseling costs!) to have waited until their relationship blossomed to marriage status. What were they thinking?!

"On their wedding day, the two were 'virtual strangers,' Sheler writes. They also had a horrible honeymoon and suffered intensely from misunderstandings and other marital problems in the beginning of their marriage. The stress from the marriage problems coupled with Rick’s workload was so bad that he ended up in the hospital. Meanwhile, Kay said that she didn’t believe in divorce so she felt that she was sentenced to a life of suffering."[2]

Thankfully, they had the foundation of biblical thinking regarding divorce. This in itself may have been what motivated them to seek the counsel they so desperately needed and to really work at coming to a resolution they could both live with.

Let this be a lesson to the unmarried: do not marry, even if you think it is God's will, until you at least like one another. I'm not saying you need a mushy, romantic type of love. Truthfully, this stage of love often disintegrates quite quickly after the honeymoon anyway and is replaced with a more mature and enduring love. Though it's true nearly all of us are still strangers to a certain degree when we meet at the marriage alter, there is still a lot to be said regarding developing a friendship with one another before taking the plunge.

In a culture of throw-away marriages, it is commendable that this couple in the spotlight should be open about their mistakes and struggles, offering hope for others who may be on the verge of giving up hope.

If you ever struggle with your marriage and think you may have made a mistake in whom you married, please think about Rick and Kay Warren. Then, seek out biblical marriage counseling with a trained nouthetic counselor.[3] Even if your mate will not cooperate or go with you, you may not have to endure "a life sentence of suffering" on your part.

Marriage is for life. Make the most of it for the glory of God and for the good of others.



[1] Vu, Michelle A. Thu, Dec. 03 2009 06:11 PM EDT. Rick Warren Biography Uncovers Rocky Marriage, Depression. The Christian Post. http://www.christianpost.com/article/20091203/rick-warren-biography-uncovers-rocky-marriage-depression/index.html (accessed December 14, 2009).
[2] Ibid. http://www.christianpost.com/article/20091203/rick-warren-biography-uncovers-rocky-marriage-depression/page2.html.
[3] http://www.nanc.org/Directory.aspx